Protect YOUR Rights. Contact ADAM today.
* Indicates required questions
Name *
First
Last
Phone # *
Email *
County Where You Reside:
How can we help you? *

When You Have Married The Wrong Person

         From the perspective of a divorce attorney, “I married the wrong person”, is a fear voiced by many clients.  Even for those who are not married, the thought that you may be in a relationship or have children with the wrong person is all too common.  A recent New York Times article looks at these concerns.  De Botton, Alain (2017, May 28), Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person, The New York Times, Sunday Review, Opinion.

            A frequent theme in this article is looking for answers to the question, “Why did I marry the wrong person?”  One problem, according to De Botton, is that as we try to get close to another person, we may only display our best behavior.  We can end up in a relationship with someone we don’t know very well and quickly start down the road of living together, having children together, or getting married.  To make things worse, your potential partner is no more self-aware than you are. 

De Botton says “marriage ends up as a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating.”  It’s all too tempting to leap before you look. 

In the end, we often have trouble being happy because we don’t know what makes us happy.  We believe we are seeking happiness in a relationship, but we are actually seeking familiarity and what we already know.  Love can also be confused with other emotions, such as wanting to help or take care of someone who has needs and troubles.  We then marry the wrong person because we don’t associate being loved with just being happy, but instead with many other complicated feelings.  These feelings get in the way, and we find ourselves less and less happy as time goes on.

            Another reason marriage and relationships can be so difficult is because seeking a partner and marrying are done in part to avoid being lonely.  If remaining single begins to seem unbearable, then it is hard to be in the right frame of mind to make reasonable choices about a partner.  We might start to feel like the “clock is ticking” and make a choice based on some artificial deadline.  Choosing who you marry can become a desperate attempt to cling to whoever is available at the time. 

Complacency can naturally put us too far along in a relationship or marriage with children, houses and other financial and emotional commitments with the feeling that it’s too late to turn back. 

            Of course, it is possible to make your relationship work, and you don’t have to marry the perfect person, or even someone who shares all of your interests.  Unfortunately, by the time a potential client comes to ADAM, things have usually broken down too far to have any meaningful discussion about saving the marriage or the relationship.  We are here to offer solutions and to help you through the process of a divorce or separation, and all the details involved to make the best of that situation.

That’s where our expertise comes into play.  We are here to help you protect your share of the assets and the income.  If you have children, we are here to help preserve and strengthen those relationships through meaningful custody and parenting time arrangements.  We can help you make sense of things, even if the reasons that your relationship ended don’t make sense. 

About ADAM (American Divorce Association for Men)

The American Divorce Association for Men (ADAM) is a group of highly qualified attorneys who advocate for men’s rights in divorce, child custody and parenting time, paternity, support, property settlement, post judgment modifications, and other family law matters. Since 1988, ADAM has been aggressive, diligent, and uncompromising when representing their clients. A team of compassionate and skilled family law attorneys, ADAM is dedicated to being Michigan’s leading divorce attorneys for men.

How to Survive a Divorce Settlement Meeting

At some point during a divorce case, you may be facing a four-way meeting, sometimes referred to as a settlement discussion.  Your attorney may suggest this meeting, or your wife’s attorney may suggest it, but either way there is a good...

Proposed New Law- The Michigan Shared Parenting Act

Reflecting changes in family dynamics and many other factors, the Michigan Legislature is at it once again in trying to overhaul the way in which custody and parenting are determined in family court.  Numerous proposals have arisen over the...

What to Do Once Your Divorce is Over

The judgment of divorce has just entered and you are now divorced… so now what? This is actually a very important phase of the divorce process, and if you’re represented by an attorney, you may want to keep your attorney retained to...

Prenups and Trust Planning

http://denhalaw.com/blog/ Friends, We are pleased to present to you, via the link above, the Denha & Associates May 2017 Law Blog. Our first article, "Prenups And Trust Planning", explores some of the reasons why a Prenuptial...

When Do You Need a Business Valuation?

Guest Author: Jason W. LeRoy, ASA, CVA, CFE (Doeren Mayhew) In many divorce cases, an attorney will recommend the use of a valuation expert when a business is involved.   Valuation experts can help determine the value of a business and...

What Makes A Case Too Complicated For Mediation?

Mediation is common in Michigan divorces.  Where the parties have been unable to resolve their issues on their own or with the help of a divorce attorney, family court judges routinely send them to a mediator as an alternative to trial. ...

Men Can Get Alimony Too

There is no doubt that women have traditionally received alimony more often than men.  However, men should understand that they have just as much right to spousal support as their wives if the circumstances were reversed. You should not sell...

Changes to the Michigan Child Support Formula

Starting January 1, 2017, changes made to the Michigan Child Support Formula went into effect that can have a big impact on paying or receiving child support.   Many parents assume that their net taxable income reported to the IRS on...

Hiding Assets in Divorce Is Not Worth the Risk

You may not be surprised to hear that clients and potential clients frequently want to know how to avoid dividing a particular asset with their wife in a divorce. This is sometimes due to anger, fear, and/or a feeling of resentment that she...

Advantages to Being First to File for Divorce

Sometimes a husband is completely blindsided when his wife files for divorce. More often, there have been warnings and both spouses realize that the end is near. Unfortunately, many men, often because they don’t want the divorce, delay...

Dividing Retirement Assets in Divorce

A typical question that divorcing couples have regarding property division is “What am I entitled to when it comes to retirement accounts. Retirement accounts could include Individual Retirement Accounts (IRA’s), employer sponsored...

Spike in Divorce Consultations around Valentine's Day

Jon Midtgard, Co-Owner of the Metro Detroit ADAM office, was recently interviewed by Channel 7 Action News in Detroit regarding the rise of divorces around Valentine's Day.  Mr. Midtgard, with more than 20 years of experience as a family...
Page: 123456 - All
Aggressive, Diligent, and Uncompromising Representation CALL 248-356-ADAM (2326) TODAY
248-509-5638
248-850-2380
248-602-2370