A “What-Not-To-Do” list if you’re considering divorce, compiled by the attorneys of ADAM – American Divorce Association for Men. ADAM attorneys have been representing good guys going through a difficult time for 30 years now. There is nothing great about going through a divorce, but there are definitely things you can do make it better—or a lot worse.  Here are some common mistakes to avoid as you navigate this chapter in your life.

1.Taking action before getting legal advice.

2.Allowing your wife to file a divorce action before you do.

3.Agreeing to “use your wife’s lawyer.”

4.Allowing grief over the process to cloud your judgment and prevent you from protecting you and your children’s interests.

5.Agreeing to mediate the case before you’ve consulted with your own lawyer.

6.Moving out of the house before a case is filed.

7.Allowing your wife to take the children out of the home before a case is filed.

8.Discussing settlement of one issue without all issues being settled and without the benefit of all of the facts.

9.Dividing assets without considering tax consequences.

10.Listening to your non-lawyer co-workers or buddies as to what the law is.

11.Failing to negotiate child tax credits in custody cases.

12.Agreeing to “reasonable and liberal” parenting time without the benefit of a specific, enforceable schedule.

13.Failing to sign up with your child’s school and medical providers to obtain information directly rather than relying on your ex- to provide it.

14.Failing to allocate frequent flier miles or vacation points in a divorce settlement.

15.Failing to ensure that all debts are accounted for in a settlement by pulling and periodically checking your credit report.

16.Failing to negotiate and write an agreement to protect your credit for any debt in your name being assumed by your wife.

17.Failing to put proper protection in your agreement for which medical expenses for the children are reimbursable.

18.Not disclosing all of your assets and liabilities to the other party during a divorce proceeding.

19.Attempting to hide assets.

20.Not getting a competent appraiser for a house, business or collectible asset.

21.Neglecting to insist that your wife swear under oath that she has disclosed all of her assets, debts and income during the divorce proceedings.

22.Failing to subpoena your wife’s employer, bank and others with whom she conducts business so that you can get information directly from the source.

23.Not setting funds aside while child support or alimony is being negotiated or litigated so that money is available if it is ordered.

24.Not taking care of your own mental and physical health by consulting with your doctor or therapist to help you get through the process.

25.Not taking prescribed mental health medication.

26.Self-medicating the stress of a divorce by abusing alcohol or drugs.

27.Not cooperating with the exchange of information during the divorce process.

28.Engaging in abusive of provocative communications via text, email or social media that can be used against you in court. For that matter, continuing to actively use social media during your divorce.

29.Threatening your spouse, her lawyer or anyone involved in the process.

30.Assuming that one-size-fits-all on any of these issues. Every case is unique and the steps you take should be tailored to your situation.

Be smart.  Know the law before you take action.  Don’t make the biggest mistake of failing to hire a knowledgeable and experienced divorce lawyer!

About ADAM (American Divorce Association for Men)

The American Divorce Association for Men (ADAM) is a group of highly qualified attorneys who have advocated for men’s rights in divorce, child custody and parenting time, paternity, support, property settlement, post judgment modifications, and other family law matters for over 30 years. Since 1988, ADAM has been aggressive, diligent, and uncompromising when representing their clients. A team of passionate and skilled family law attorneys, ADAM is dedicated to being Michigan’s leading divorce attorneys for men.