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What to Ask Yourself Before Getting a Divorce

Before you make the final decision to end your marriage, it may be helpful to think through a number of aspects surrounding your marriage and life, in general. The Huffington Post recently released an article titled, “10 Crucial Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting A Divorce.”

The article highlighted the following questions as extremely important items to consider before divorce. We’ve added our own thoughts in between each question noted.

1. "Do I honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with this person as my companion?"

If the answer is no, then you’re in a good position to start thinking through divorce as a serious option. If the answer is yes, some deeper soul-searching might be required before making a decision.

2. "Is staying together more harmful than good, for us and for the kids?"

Consider the mental and physical health of yourself, your wife, and especially your children. If your relationship has become toxic to any party involved, consider the changes that divorce could provide those individuals, both positive and negative.

3. "Am I capable of taking the high road in this divorce?"

In our humble opinion, the answer to this question should always be yes. It’s important to conduct yourself with a certain level of dignity and respect while going through a divorce. Be sure that you check your attitude at the door as you step into a divorce.

4. "Have I truly exhausted every effort to try to make it work?"

Be honest with yourself on this one - does divorce just seem like the easiest way out?

5. "Am I sure the problem isn't me, and that I won't just repeat this situation all over again with someone else?"

If it’s possible that you’re the problem in the relationship, consider taking the necessary steps towards correcting your behavior - even if it’s not enough to save this particular relationship. Making positive changes can help prepare you for a successful relationship in the future.

6. "What's the most civil way I can go about this divorce, for myself and the kids?"

The goal should never be to intentionally hurt, smear, or spite your soon to be ex-wife. Civility is of incredible importance while going through this process, for both yourself and your children. 

7. "Am I OK possibly spending the rest of my life alone?"

Don’t dwell on this one so much - there’s no reason to panic over the idea of never finding someone else.

8. "Am I modeling the kind of relationship I want my child to be in eventually through this marriage?"

Setting a positive example for your children is likely important to you in every other aspect of your life - your relationship should not be an exception. Show your children how they should treat a partner, and how they should expect to be treated, as well.

9. "Am I holding on because I love him or her or am holding on because I'm afraid to be alone?"

It is infinitely better to be temporarily alone than to be infinitely miserable in a relationship that simply does not work.

10. "Is there anything I can do to improve this marriage?"

If there is anything that you can do to improve the marriage, make an effort to do so before making a divorce final.

If you have any additional questions about the process of divorce, feel free to reach out to any of our knowledgeable and understanding attorneys at ADAM.

About ADAM (American Divorce Association for Men)

The American Divorce Association for Men (ADAM) is a group of highly qualified attorneys who advocate for men’s rights in divorce, child custody and parenting time, paternity, support, property settlement, post judgment modifications, and other family law matters. Since 1988, ADAM has been aggressive, diligent, and uncompromising when representing their clients. A
team of compassionate and skilled family law attorneys, ADAM is dedicated to being Michigan’s leading divorce attorneys for men and practices a policy of integrity in all dealings.

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